Saying goodbye…

“I can’t come in, but I’m ok.”

Those are the last words that my sister said to me in my dream. 

I was on a plane flying across the Pacific Ocean, falling in and out of sleep, waiting for the hours to pass to arrive in Salt Lake City before getting my connecting flight back home to Missoula. 


My dream starts…

I am in some high rise apartment in Waikiki, sitting on the couch relaxing in a sense of calmness. I see an image on the balcony and I realize it’s my sister Kerstin. 

Her dark brown hair is long and curly, being blown around by the wind that seems to be aggressive and wild, but as I run to the sliding glass door and open the door, there’s a gentle silence.

I want her to step inside, so she is safe, so she come back, so she can be with me. 

“I can’t come in, but I’m ok” she says. 

Then I wake up, disorientated, trying to remember where I am at. I try and fall back asleep to pick up where I left off in the dream. 

Come back Kerstin, I say to myself, don’t leave just yet. 

Afraid that I’ll never have another chance to connect with her, I want to hold on to the dream just a little longer. 

But she’s gone, she’s left, to somewhere else. I don’t know where she is, but I know that she is ok.

~ MCA 



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